Arnie works the cyclone at the state fair
Says he's in it for the chicks
Smokes about two packs of cigarettes each day
And he drinks just like a fish

Arnie never talks of family
And he never found a wife
He sleeps with the bearded lady
So does the guy that swallows knives

Oh and I, I'm quite a lot like him
Oh and I, I'm quite a lot like him
Oh and I, I'm quite a lot like him -- I swear

Arnie talks as if someday he'll leave
if the right thing comes along
A distant dream as a mercenary marine
is a dream that's long gone

My eye, my eyes they're not like his
Maybe a little
God, I wish my eyes were just like his

Arnie's on the road eight months each year
Winters down south where it's warm
He's in a trailer park in Sarasota
Getting drunk with the clowns